Surfside Group

Life is supposed to be easy, right?  Well, at the very least, losing sales is easy.  Especially when you have little or no motivation to get out there and create business opportunities for yourself.  Here are 8 easy ways to keep the loser trend going:

1. Live like a rock star.  Stay up late.  Roll out of bed at 10 AM and stumble to the coffee pot.  Snarl at people until you really wake up at 4 PM. 
2. Play games.  It's easy to download all kinds of games to your computer.  Just make sure you have a spreadsheet or something work-related available to click to quickly in case someone walks into your office.  At home, be sure to play Guitar Hero until the wee hours so you can fulfill Step 1 (above). 
3. Watch CNN and Fox 24/7.  They report the news all day, so you might as well stay tuned to hear about every bad legislative maneuver, crooked Wall Street dealings, murder, plane crash, and international crisis.  The more of this stuff you know, the better you'll feel about your own miserable, insignificant life. 
4. Find someone else in your company, your neighborhood or group of friends who is also experiencing a downturn in their personal fortunes.  Commiserate on a regular basis.  After all, misery loves company.  Talk about how much everyone else in the world is to blame for your position in life. *Be sure to include lots of alcohol and/or "self-medication" to "take the edge off." Whatever you do, do not talk with anyone who appears to be upbeat.  They are just faking it or are too dumb to know how bad everything is.  You are a realist. 
5. Use these uncertain times as an excuse to eat emotionally.  It's easier to drive through for a bucket of chicken or order pizza delivery than to make a healthy (inexpensive) meal.  Be sure to chow through a late night pint of ice cream so you have energy to play Guitar Hero.  Buy Rolaids in bulk.
6. Ignore history.  Just because every other economic downturn has eventually improved to bring a new wave of prosperity doesn't mean this one will do the same.  Face it - this could be permanent.  There is no reason to learn about what people did in the past to make sure they and their companies got through tough economies.  This is different.  Lying in the fetal position and watching daytime television will work wonders.
7. Clean your office.  If you already did this, clean it again. Use this slow time as a chance to catch up with old friends, update photos on your Facebook profile, or just talk with other people in your office.  Right now, it's similar to those 6 weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's anyway.  Everybody knows that nobody is buying anything now, so why bother?
8. Shrug your shoulders.  It's a dog-eat-dog world and your competition is out there using all kinds of crazy techniques to try to nail you to the wall and eat your company for lunch when it folds.  They are getting all the business so what's the point in trying to convince your customers and prospects to consider doing business with you?

Being in sales is easy – especially if you are not motivated and don't care about losing customers and future sales.  That's why in a down economy, it's so easy to just drift along and wait for things to pick back up again so you can turn into the order-taking superhero that you were back when the economy was rockin'. 

*Disclaimer: Obviously, the 'advice' given above is quite sarcastic. We do not ever condone or in any way encourage people to abuse alcohol or drugs. And although the occasional late night pint of Ben & Jerry's can be therapeutic, it's probably best to limit those types of activities. I hope reading this made you smile at the very least!  Be sure to read the follow up blog that gives some good ideas for ways to stay motivated for sales success.